Losing Life: A Reflection on Gratitude and Time
Are you truly living, or are you losing life in ways you don’t even notice? This issue explores how our choices shape our well-being and what it takes to reclaim the life we’re meant to live.
Losing life.
No, I’m not referring to dying, as that’s set in motion from the moment we’re born. I’m talking about all the choices that prevent us from taking advantage of this tremendous gift we call life. In each of those poor decisions, we are losing life.
The lyrics of “Seasons of Love” play in my head. We have 525,600 minutes in a year. What do we choose to do with each 60-second increment that shapes our days? Time is a powerful dimension, yet we fail to pay it due respect. Time’s ticking. It’s “slipping, slipping, slipping into the future,” as “Fly Like an Eagle” reminds us. Once time is past, we can never get it back.
Our well-being is contingent on putting time at the forefront of our minds. Of doing what we can to stop losing life.
With each poor decision, I lose life. As a little girl, I always pushed the limits of bedtime. The flashlight under the covers was my accomplice as I read just one more chapter. As an adult, I binge-watch one more episode of a show. I’ll fall asleep in front of the TV, yet when I make my way to bed, sleep often does not stay with me through the night. Others say racing thoughts accompany insomnia; for me, it's frustration. I don’t want to be losing life.
On those sleepless nights, which are, thankfully, fewer and fewer these days, I sometimes compensate for the lack of sleep and stay in bed longer—another instance of losing life.
I understand the value of good habits and often write about them. Yet, sometimes, my choices are not in my best interest.
If I choose to indulge and eat a bowl of chocolate ice cream that beckons with the lie that a few minutes of delicious bliss will be worth the consequences, it results in losing life. I’ll pay in the added calories and upset stomach I’ll wake up to the next day. My morning routine is then uncomfortably extended (I’ll spare you the details.). Just another way I’m losing life.
I silently question those who say they have no regrets. Narcissists may have no regrets, but ordinary people who engage with others, explore opportunities, and, at times, take risks will have regrets. Life is a mixed array of disappointments and celebrations. Of course, it’s what we do with our regrets that matters.
One of my big regrets is allowing others to influence my well-being. Too many vampires sucked my time, energy, and sometimes my self-esteem. I was losing life.
When I look back at how I permitted the pettiness of my mother-in-law to grow my sense of injustice to the point that it often permeated my thoughts and conversations, I regret the energy lost. I could have handled the situation better. After all, her failure to acknowledge that I was a great choice for her son and a wonderful mother to her grandsons was more about her insecurities than her dislike of me.
Then there was the volatile exchange with a male co-worker, which moved to a stairwell where I felt trapped…vulnerable. It affected my confidence for far too long. It was another example of how I let someone insecure in their position affect my sense of self. Losing life.
I lived with video loops of what I should’ve, could’ve, would’ve done. Worry, blame, and ego all take far too much energy. Fatigue was my constant companion.
Yes, I have regrets. There are conversations I wish I had handled better. But what do you say to your kind-hearted ten-year-old who wants to know why terrorists flew into buildings and killed innocent people? There are conversations I wish I had had, but sometimes you don’t know that you will never see that person again.
While I’ve grown from my poor choices, I regret all the life I’ve lost.
Today, the concept of losing life guides my thoughts, words, and actions. It has helped me keep my well-being a priority. I avoid petty circular discussions that result in getting nowhere. Social media is a necessary evil because I own a business, so I choose to be mindful not just of the time I allot but also of leaving thoughtful comments. I try to eat well, but I still indulge too often. Sleep is a well-guarded necessity, and exercise is a reluctant priority.
While my faith has sustained me through life, my natural self often gets in the way. Much of my mindset adjustment has come with growing as a Christian and the wisdom that comes with age. I also felt a tremendous turnaround in the clarity of my thoughts and a rise in my energy level when I started working out regularly around the age of 47. Working out meant I drank more water, slept better, and felt more confident. My eating habits improved; I reduced dairy and stopped drinking soda.
But then, several years ago, I got two puppies. They needed me to come straight home from work. Once I got home, the motivation to go to the gym disappeared. I fell off the wagon and stopped working out regularly, which led to less water consumed and a return to some of my poor eating habits. Interrupted sleep returned. Why is it so easy to let losing life be OK?
I have a fabulous, loyal, hardworking husband, two responsible, independent sons, and two of the best daughters-in-law a mother could ask for. My two grandsons are healthy and incredibly happy, and my granddaughter will make her debut soon. Buck and Bailey, my lazy foxhounds, depend on me to walk them regularly. I own my own business, write a Substack newsletter, am working on launching an autobiography course, and travel often. My life is full.
I have no right to indulge in actions that result in living less. Thus, my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well–being is a priority. There is too much to be grateful for me to continue losing life.
How We Lose Life
Losing life often hides in the small, everyday choices we make. These subtle drains can quietly erode our well-being over time. Here are some common culprits:
Neglecting sleep by staying up for "just one more episode" or late-night scrolling deprives us of much-needed rest.
Poor dietary choices, like emotional eating or overindulgence, leave us feeling sluggish and out of balance.
Overcommitting to too many responsibilities drains time and energy that could be spent on things that matter most.
Replaying past mistakes and conflicts in endless mental loops traps us in a cycle of regret and stagnation.
Allowing negative influences to control our peace and emotional well-being leads to unnecessary exhaustion.
Social media rabbit holes distract us from achieving real-world goals and connecting with loved ones.
Disorganization, whether in our environment or priorities, increases stress and causes us to waste time and miss opportunities.
Lesson Learned
Time waits for no one. Our choices, small and large, determine how much of this precious resource we actually use for living fully. It’s up to us to protect our well-being by choosing wisely.
Your Next Move
Identify one way you've been losing life—whether it’s letting social media steal hours or neglecting your sleep routine. Start small. Commit to reclaiming one area this week. Organize your priorities, schedule downtime, or set app limits. Each intentional choice is a step toward a well-lived life and a step away from losing life.